picture is at end of post if you want to skip my college life drama.

well to sum up from last time, crazy girl quit painting, but she did manage to corner me in the cafeteria for a quarter of an hour trying to convince me to watch Ruroni Kenshin. Which I will not. Also, failed choir audition, which is disappointing, but like last year, i tell myself i'd rather have a lunch hour. SIGH. it's really disappointing. I'd get a voice teacher, but that would involve going to the music building and practicing in rooms where EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU. Those practice rooms? soundproofing is a lie. I'm too self-conscious as of yet.

Taking three art classes does not mean my homework is fun and full of creative amazingness. No, it's exactly the same as academic homework. Maybe worse. Painting is becoming my least fav class because like, paintings are due like, once a week. It's all like, paint a painting on the theme of "place" GO. Oh and the canvas will cost you almost twenty bucks. There wasn't much on "how to paint", only the teacher putting on random colors and then two hours later, voila, somehow, those dabs of color make a whole. I'M NOT GOOD AT THAT. All my life i've been drawing in black and white, pencil and paper. I'm trying to learn, but it's going so fast.

When I'm sick of the artsy, I go back to what I've always done...pencil and paper, and unfortunately, crushing on geeky boys.

Fortunately, he's really cute and might actually return the affection genuinely. But who can tell? He's so dreamy and detached he could have just seen me as a fellow geek, or maybe he's a phone number collector, or maybe he doesn't even have his girl radar turned on. But that's what fascinates me: that he has his head in the clouds, just like me, once in a while...

unfortunately, his dorm mates from last year hate him. I know his dormmates, they're all guys, friends of my roommate's boyfriend, and these are the people i spend the most time with because all my female friends live in a dorm that's really far away. If i were to admit my feelings to the girls, they'd be like, who? a programming nerd? uhhh ok. it's more fun when people agree he's cute, and since he's not ROTC, a choir boy, or a semi-jock, they will not think he is cute. kristin knows who he is since they both do programming, and she knows what he's like - "nice, but awkward". Very awkward, I know. And if I admit to the boys -- no, I wouldn't. it'd be embarrassing. Hey guys, i have a massive crush on this guy whom you think is lame and annoying and plays his music too loud.

Good: he apparently composes his own music and plays guitar to is own singing. admirable!
Bad: apparently last year his dormmates hated it.
Good: i got the courage to go to a little gathering in a dorm lounge to hear him play.
Bad: he sucked. i know, because i know music. guitar was off, singing was off, he sang so soft i couldn't hear much of anything.
Good: Umm. he seemed to want to say hi after? room to improve? was it just nerves?
Bad: I ran away as soon as he was done to write down my immediate thoughts and a cartoon idea i had to do - deadline for the newspaper. More of an excuse to myself to let myself run.

I haven't gotten it this bad since, oh, 8th grade.
His codename is doofenschmirtz.

quick doodle from memory, of him last night

[link]

cute boy is cute.